If You Want to Love a Woman, Learn to Love the Land

If you want to love a woman, learn to love the land. For it is with the land that you will learn Her ways.

If you want to love a woman, learn to be still.

Sit outside in patient silence until the sounds of the forest return around you. Until the skittish animals trust your stillness enough to come out of hiding.

Then you will be able to sit in stillness with your woman, listening, allowing enough peace to surround her that the soft and subtle vulnerabilities of her heart come out of hiding too.

The tiny creatures that inhabit her soul: her needs, her desires, her fears, her joys – they will disappear like deer if you come charging at them. So instead sit and invite. Listen for them in the silence.

Know that they are already watching you, wanting to trust you, but waiting to see if you are truly trustable.

If you want to love a woman, learn to move at the pace of nature.

Do not go in thrashing about noisily through the land with big boots and bikes and headphones. Do not crack twigs and tear down spider webs without even noticing.

Do not use your ability to be big until you have mastered your ability to be small. Until you have felt in your heart what it must feel like to be that spider web, tirelessly built for hours, and torn apart in seconds, by accident, simply by one who does not see.

Then you will know the courage it takes to open softly, the strength required for her to surrender to you again and again.

When you feel awe and tears for the land’s gentle flowers blooming each spring without walls to protect them from unkind feet, then you will know the strength of a woman. To continue opening to you, even when you have accidentally torn her down by not seeing. You will feel the power of her forgiveness.

Then you will be able to honor the delicate and courageous webs that make up her nature, and the delight she feels when you see them.

If you want to love a woman, learn to feel.

Touch the grasses softly, smell the musty dirt and fragrance of the flower, brush your hands across the rough and smooth surfaces of stone that show themselves to you.

Know each thing for what it is by feeling it deeply. And let these things touch your heart in return. Awaken to your own senses and emotions.

Spend time. Acquaint yourself. Feel the infinite circles and cycles here, feel the beauty of the land’s complexity.

Then when you go into your woman, you will bring with you the memory of the land.

You will touch her hair slowly, smell her musty skin and the fragrance of her flower. You will brush your hands across the rough and smooth surfaces of her body that show themselves to you.

For you will know each piece of her for what it is, the infinite circles and cycles within her. And you will allow yourself be touched by the beauty of her complexity.

If you want to love a woman, awaken the animal in your heart.

Go crawl on your hands and feet through the mud. Growl from your belly, purr from your sacrum. Press your face against a tree. Run on your toes through the field and yell your heart’s howl from the tops of mountains. Beat your chest.

Awaken yourself to your true power. Let it course through you as aliveness rooted in the love of sharing sensation with the land, instead of the need to prove yourself as mightier than.

Let your mind melt away like butter from your animal heart. Dissolve into your instincts. Let the smallness of your center connect you back into the bigness of your spirit.

Tell the land out loud how thankful you are. Sing her your praises. Let yourself feel the wild aliveness of worshipping in the sand and muck again.

Like a child, like a warrior, come home.

Then you will be able to ravish your woman the way her heart desires. You’ll be able to fulfill her soul and yoni in ways that no technique will teach you.

Because you will feel the boundlessness of your power in connection with her, sharing sensation with her, not performing to prove yourself. Then you’ll love to sing her praises out loud, to let her know what she smells like and tastes like and feels like under your hands and heart. To be awed by her courage.

Then you’ll let yourself feel the wild aliveness of worshipping in the sweat and scent of your woman again. Like a warrior, like a servant king, come home.

If you want to love a woman, work the land.

Tend and plant. Water and weed and wait. Spend time outside when it is not comfortable. Let the land hail on you. Let the skies be overcast or let the sun be hot on your burning back.

Do not run away, and do not try to change the weather, for really, that is not your role. Simply do your work, regardless of the season.

Feel the simplicity of your duty to the land – to tend to her no matter what clouds are spinning above. Do not be afraid of the weather – it will change, then, it will change, then, it will change.

Be closer to your food. See that in order for the harvest to come in, for the foods that nourish you, these changing seasons are in every way needed. That they are connected at the root.

Celebrate the storming as much as the shining. Let working in the summer heat be as much a joy as reaping the autumn fruit.

Then when she is upset at you or the world, you will not be afraid. Then you will know how to weather woman’s storms.

To know that her heart is an entire planet with cold fronts and storm clouds and heat waves of emotion, of sensation. That your role is simply to stay with her, in love. And that her delight is often to trust and allow the changing weather of her soul to flow freely across the surface of her face and body, until it changes. 

Then you will see that in order for the beautiful parts of her to grow: the ones that feel easy and make you feel amazing, that the rest of her, all of her, is in every way needed and connected at the root to her harvest.

Then you will know that to nourish the difficult parts of her, to stay with her moods without trying to change them, to tend her soul’s soil with love no matter the weather, is what will allow her brightest flowers to keep blooming.

If you want to love a woman, know the worth of your presence.

Be with the land until you truly know that you have already been proven worthy, just as you are.

That being here, being all the way here, with your full presence, is enough. That nothing more and nothing less is being asked of you, than for you to be here with the land, through it all.

Then you will know how to give your woman the greatest gift of her heart: yourself. Your full, present, true self. Not shrinking away from what is true, not attempting to be bigger or better than the truth. No distractions, no avoidance. Then you will be here with her, steady.

And as you know that you are enough, you won’t need to change her, for her moods will not make you question your worth. Your presence will unlock hidden treasures in her heart that she has been waiting to give to someone who knows his worth. For your knowing, from your center, is what makes you ready for them.

When you know your worth, dear warrior, you will be able to get over your fear of looking bad, of doing it wrong, of being ashamed of how deep your love for the waters of the earth and of your woman flow. Because She is too sacred, too precious, to be denied because of ego’s fear. And So. Worth. Loving.

If you want to love a woman, learn to love the land.

So that you can connect with the boundless mystery that awaits you within the earth, within your woman, and within your own belly.

The essence that attracts you to a woman: the beauty, the mystery, the complexity, the softness, and the power to create life, this is the essence of the land first. Because “Her” lives inside all of us, a gift from our greatest Mother, Goddess, Infinite Lover, Earth.

Being drawn to a woman is a beautiful thing, but let yourself be drawn through her, to your deepest longing, to reconnect with the land you were born of. And then, as you cradle into earth’s wholeness of being, as you feel earth and woman rise up inside of your own body once again, that is how you will learn to love Her, every Her, and our collective healing can begin. 

(This is an invitation to each person, male, female, and every identity, to learn to love the feminine root inside of them - the part that connects each of us to earth, to each other, and to love. Make no mistake, the task of rekindling our sacred connection to the powerful yin energy of the world that brings us healing, satisfaction, sensation, and love, is a task for every single one of us to reclaim in ourselves and support in each other. We all need to do this. We all need to be seen and held, and to offer our presence deeply to each other. Every instance of the word man or woman in this post is a representation of a polarity of energy that is in no way limited to gender or sex, but rather rises in each of us in uniqueness of spectrum to create a tapestry of life and relationship. Be free, be you, and be love.)